Of Dreams and Cobwebs
by xoX-IHeartSureal-Xox
Summary: Roxas thinks he knows the score;he thinks everything that could possibly have happend has already come and gone and there's no way of getting it back.But when Namine turns up; nothing is as certain as it seems... maybe the past can be left behiend?Roxine
1. Story Note

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!You can skip this if you want!

:D

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_-**A**_ Note **O**n This **S**tory- 

Okay! Listen up! Thank you for choosing this; but here is something important to know before you start reading away.

This Is a Story that is going to run parallel to my other Fanfic;

"_**Memoirs of an Amnesiac"**_

Well; Not exactly Parallel... They're linked I guess

Basically the stories run side by side; though _**"Memoirs…"**_ is more Kairi/Sora centred.

I may have their POV's too though; I don't know.

It's possible. Everything's possible.

Also; this is all kinda dedicated to lebrezie who got me thinking about Roxas and Namine's side to the story.

So you have her to blame... Only messing... I hope...

Anyway; she gave me the foundations to start building this fanfic.

So yeah; that's pretty darn coolio of her if i do say so myself...

Anyway; If you want a more in-depth view of this read the other.

I'm just saying: You may find out some things sooner in _**"Memoirs…"**_

And some things sooner here.

It's really up to you.

I'm going to try make it so that you can read this and understand it without clicking on to It's sibling (let's call them sibling stories for now. Shall we?)

Oh; and the following chapters are going to be short because there the Prologue…

Well the next three chapters are anyway.

One a poem(specially seeked out to suit this), One Namine's POV, and One Roxas' POV.

And if you don't like them, try to give this another shot once the proper Chapters begin.

Really; it's a lot fairer.

You should never judge a Fanfic by the prologue.

And Anyways; I LIKE the prologue.

So back to the Story.

Just click forward to begin it!

:D

**!!!THANK YOU!!!**

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	2. Prologue:Part One

****Okay Sorry about all the Intersecting lines; but it wouldn't let me put spaces in between paragraphs for some reason. Any way; the intersections signify a change in poem. This part of the prologue is comprised as a load of specially selected/extracted/arranged bits and pieces from the poetry of Yeats. W.B. Yeats that is... I don't think Jack Yeats wrote any poetry... but anyway. Back to this. I admit that i didn't actually write any of this my very own self. But I went looking for relevent poetry, and i found this, so i put it in a certain order to start of this fanfic. So really i did work pretty hard to create this chapter; I don't think i'll be doing another one of these kinda passages again anytime soon. And if you read this through; you might be able to unravel bits of plot. Seriously. I know; I managed to find poetry by yeats in particular and made it fit in to my plot. I personally think that's kinda cool. Anyway; if you're not into this kinda thing: then move along. The other two parts of the prologue are completely different. And then when the story gets started properly, it'll be different again. I think. 

**Hope you enjoy!**

**R&R**

**:D**

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the collected works of William Butler Yeats._

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.:Prologue: Part One:.

**_xXxXxXx_**

Earth in beauty dressed

Awaits returning spring.

All true love must die,

Alter the best

Into some lesser thing

_Prove that I lie._

Such body lovers have,

Such exacting breath,

That they touch or sigh.

Every touch they give,

Love is nearer death.

_Prove that I lie._

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There was a man whom Sorrow named his friend

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One had died in a strange place

Near no accustomed hand;

And they had nailed the boards above her face,

Wondering to lay her in that solitude,

And raised her above her mound

A cross they had made out of two bits of wood,

And planted cypress round;

And left her to the indifferent stars above

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Dreams, and ruin untold;

Thine own sadness, whereof stars, grown old

In dancing silver-sandalled on the sea,

Sing in their lonely melody.

Come near, that no more blinded by man's fate,

I find under the boughs of love and hate,

In all poor foolish things that live a day,

Eternal beauty wandering on her way.

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Who dreamed that beauty passes like a dream?

For these red lips, with all their mournful pride,

Mournful that no new wonder may betide

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I sigh that kiss you,

For I must own

That I will miss you

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Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars

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Time drops in decay,

Like a candle burnt out

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A girl arose that had red mournful lips

And seemed the greatness of the world in tears

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Only a sudden flaming word,

In a clanging space a moment heard,

Troubling the endless reverie.

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"I loved another; now I love no other"

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Beauty, in a mist of tears

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_S__he was more beautiful than thy first love_

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From dream to dream and rhyme to rhyme I have ranged

In rambling talk with an image of air;

Vague memories, nothing but memories.

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**I think that was a pretty unique idea to throw in; but maybe not... I dunno; this is my second fanfic ever so just bare with me. Did this work okay? Review to give your opinion. It would be greatly appretiated! Thank you! **

**xoX-IHeartSureal-Xox**


	3. Prologue:Part Two: A FuckedUp Fairytale

**I've thrown myself into creating a different kind of character for Namine in this one. Different to Kairi that is. And I think i did a good job of trying to capture her personality. Hopefully... I do hope you enjoy! Thank you so much for reading**

**Please Review; it would be really Lovely**

**:P**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom hearts One or two, and I don't own Fairytales either... Or Sid..._

_but i do own the story; please respect that at least._

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.:Prologue: Part One:.

_**xXxXx**_

_**-Naminé-**_

_I remember being terrified of staying. But I was terrified of leaving too. Though I only realised this when it finally happened…_

_I used to dream of my very own Prince Charming coming to whisk me away._

_Coming to save me._

_But sometimes it's not just the Princess who needs saving._

_No; I'm not royalty or something. My story isn't a fairy tale…_

_Or maybe it is and I just don't know yet. _

_Anyway; I'm just a girl with an imagination like a kid's book (but maybe a little darker) and a mind that I can't figure out. _

_I'm too much of a dreamer I guess._

_But is that such a bad thing?_

_At the moment it feels like it is._

_What do I like?_

_Well; I love buying clothes from charity shops and making up stories about the people they used to belong to._

_I love getting love heart sweets and scratching them with a pin to change the messages on them._

_I love __boys on swings and girls on skateboards, like one of my favourite fictional characters (though, unlike her, I'm not OCD: I love chaos. And I have blue eyes, not brown. And I've never met anyone called Sid. Oh and I'm not seventeen either); but I love boys on skateboards and girls on swings too._

_I love sketching, and painting: It's magic. You can create this whole world of your own. __Full of all this beauty that no one seems to see in reality._

_Full of little girls with rosy cheeks and big ringlets and shiny patent shoes,__ full of little boys with grass stains on their knees and mischief in their eyes, full of people smiling, full of ballrooms packed with people in masks and storybook scenes from after the happy ending when you know everything's going to be alright._

_But then again… how do we know that everything's alright after the happy-ever-after._

_How do we know that everything is forever perfect after they escape the malevolent witch or the evil king?_

_W__hat happens later on; is it too terrible to mention? _

_I hope not. _

_I always liked Sleeping Beauty. I've been thinking more about her recently I guess… _

_Asleep to all around her;__ locked in her mind until finally someone came around who could free her. It must have been scary; waking up. After all; she'd been living in a dreamland. Hadn't she? Or was she trapped in a constant nightmare? And no one knew it? That would've been terrifying; being ensnared in this fear-filled second life that no one could know about. But she was woken up. And that's what mattered I guess; _

_He made her alive again._

_It was all down to love in the end as well._

_I love love. I really do. _

_But I hate it too. _

_I don't think you can be human without hating loving love at some point._

_Well; maybe if you never loved it in the first place._

_Maybe if you never wanted it in the first place._

_Maybe if you just wanted to be left alone._

_But I wasn't one of those people. _

_I had hope in the world._

_And now I'm unsure whether love can ever last._

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**_Okay! Reviewing time! did I make the personality work? And What are your guesses about what/who she's talking about? Time for your say; R&R_**


	4. Prologue:Part Three:Letter to Nowhere

**Here's the Final Part to the Prologues; we'll then be travelling back in time to around where "_Memoirs..._" starts. So enjoy the insight in to the Future. This series of fanfic is really centered around memories and how the past effects the present etc. So the prologues are pretty important. Anyways; here you go. I hope you like Roxas' writing style... even if it is pretty sad...**

**Reviewing is Magic**

**:D**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom hearts one or two; but i do own the story about the operatic mustache._

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.:Prologue: Part Two:.

**_xXxXx_**

_**-Roxas -**_

_I don't know what to say. __I was planning on writing it all down; letting it out. __I was planning to write it all in a letter to you. __But there's obviously something wrong with the pen 'cause it's not working like it's meant to. __Nothings coming out the nib properly._

_And __I'm talking about stationary. __I definitely didn't mean to talk about stationary._

_I sound like someone out of one of your stories about some eccentric. I always meant to tell you that I loved those stories but I never got around to it. Well I'm getting round to it now, amn't __I? Better late then never… I wish that were true…I wish I could hear one of those stories again. A fucked-up fairytale or a fable about an old man whose moustache took on a life of its own and travelled the world; eventually becoming an opera singer… _

_No; that's not right._

_These things never sound right anymore.__ They only ever did when you told them. I can't do quirky. _

_And I miss the quirkiness._

_I miss the smile._

_I miss the wonderful pictures of everyone you used to draw._

_I miss that feeling I seemed to get every time you walked into a room._

_I miss the mind-melting effect of your eyes on mine._

_I miss the little expressions you used to use._

_I miss the sound of your beautiful voice and your lightly-tread footsteps._

_I miss your grace._

_I miss your imperfections._

_I miss your imaginosity… or whatever you called it…_

_Basically; I miss You._

_And the pen isn't broken; I am._

_And I know I can't send this._

_I know it'll just be left to decompose elsewhere._

_But right now I'm talking to you again; even if it is just all in my head… and it's amazing how even the illusion of your conversation makes me tumble into this pit of confusion._

_Blissful happy confusion._

_Though not so happy anymore._

_I wish I could see you one last time._

_And I hope you knew this all before…_

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**_Awww! I told you it was sad. Anyway; i'm pretty sure you all know who he was writing to... even though i left out the name. So what do you think happened? Where's She gone? Oh; and is this written around the same time as Namine's prologue or not? Hmmm questions, questions... What are YOUR answers? R&R to tell me! Thanks SOOO much for reading! WOOOOOOOOO!!! i'm on such a new story High right now!_**


	5. Bite Me aka Losing Grip: Real Version

**_I AM SOOO SORRY; I UPLOADED THE UNEDITED CHAPTER!!! OH GOD!!! WELL HERE'S THE PROPER PIECE!!! SORRY AGAIN!!!_**

**Wow; My first proper chapter: sorry about the wait... I had writer's block, a funeral, exams, and blood test. Lovely. Just to let you know; this mightn't seem the way it will actually be in future... I don't know... Don't judge Selphie; I was trying to set her up with the right kind of realistic (at least in my most unfortunate experiences of my ridiculous agegroup) personality. She may seem slightly Over The Top... but I'm known for that kind of thing... So deal with it. In the nicest possible way; of course. Anywho: this could seem dark (and more then likely weird; as I am in fact me at this point in time: which is a usual indication of such mentalities running though my stories) Anywho; here you go. Me and my fanfic.**

**Warning; there may be biting invovled.**

_**With many thanks to lebrezie; for the excitement, for complementing my ever-changing writing styles, and for thinking I should be a proffesional poet (I'm aming for actor, but thanks... and you do realise I didn't actually write the stuff in the first part of the prolouge; that I just arranged approriate passages from W.B. Yeats instead... right?), to Jynx (Jynxer120); a loooong time as you can probably tell (though I'm not sure it's billiance) : ), and to Shawn16 for liking the intrigue. **_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts; any of it... but I own the plot and there's no law against using the same names as something else for characters; so hah! It's all legally mine... I think..._

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Chapter One

**_-Roxas-_**

xXxXx

"Selphie; for the last time: no!" I sighed; Selphie had basically been on the phone to me since we left her house. Her parents being away meant one thing to her: party. Selphie seemed to have her abode all to herself every other weekend; so she was like the queen of the good time social scene... not of the bitchy clique brigade (though they were omnipresent at her events); she just tried to make everyone have fun, keep everyone happy. But sometimes she was a little too eager for everyone else's pleasure; she'd frequently end up in a closet making-out with some guy, or she'd try desperately to get everyone a match. This was one of those times.

"Why not? I mean; you were attached to her face for some of the night. I don't see why you wouldn't-"

"NO! I don't like her; and you basically flung me at her! And she bites!" I argued

"Paine doesn't bite." She retorted

"How would you know?" I asked; but then again...

"It was a dare in seventh grade." She replied as if it explained everything.

"Well; she wasn't the same back then when her favourite colour was pastel pink." I couldn't believe I was having this conversation.

Sora, walking beside me in silence, shot me a confused glance. I mouthed the words 'Selphie-scored-Paine-on-a-dare-in-seventh-grade-and-doesn't-seem-to-realise-she-uses-her-teeth-now'; he smirked.

"Well I just think it's time for you to get a girlfriend again. I mean come on; you-"

"Selphie will you just accept the fact that I don't want an anchor right now?" I cut her off; I didn't want to hear the last words of the previous sentence; I knew exactly what she'd say: the things I knew were true.

"An anchor? What the fuck Roxas; we're not shipping equipment!" she said in an irritated sort of way.

"Not you; girlfriends in general." I replied; telling her my honest opinion. Girlfriends meant a leash. Someone who wanted you to do stuff with them whenever you were free; keeping you away from your friends and wasting your time. Kissing? Good stuff; along with what followed. Conversation; fine if the girl has a brain. But constant presence, annoying friends, and all those expectations? Nope. Not my thing. And besides... I'd had bad experience which taught me that no matter how cool the girl was; there was no guaranty.

"I am someone's girlfriend in general! I think... wait; no sorry, my mistake... But still." I had to snigger at this

"Um... Selphie? What about Tidus? Didn't you want to get him in the closet tonight?" I asked; knowing full well the answer. Selphie ate boys for breakfast; but when it came to Tidus, she was never sure of herself around him. She was always just about to tell him how she felt when some guy would walk past and she'd chicken out; going off to have some meaningless liaison under the bleachers with random guy A instead of confronting the one male that she actually cared for. Somehow; she'd never be what you'd call a slut... she was too nice for that. She just liked to be loved; and then some. She was always somehow convinced that the next time would lead to true love... but that didn't happen. She was a hopeless romantic at heart; but she often fell victim to lust, because that was something she knew how to handle.

"Uh; well then there was this guy, and I just got a little distracted... okay; I admit it. I am the female version of a womanizer... a manizer."

"Maneater; and it's okay to be nervous" I said; finding the perfect way to distract her.

"I was NOT nervous. I'm... slutty and promiscuous. SHUT UP! And why would I be nervous about Tidus? I mean he's hardly a big deal; if he was a big deal I wouldn't get off with other guys. That's just common sense." I had to cover my mouth to stop the laughter reaching her.

"Um... you want me to say you do the rounds and you're a whore? You actually honestly want that? Wow! You _really_ like him!" I mocked once I regained my composure (only to risk loosing it again); humming 'Love is in the air'... a song I couldn't stand; but it had it's uses.

"I DO NOT! FUCK YOU! AND YOU CAN'T KEEP A MUSICAL NOTE FOR SHIT!" She yelled

"Calm down Selphie; now, I realise you're in denial but: this is not the answer. You need to accept your emotions. Taking out your pent up frustration on innocent people, such as me, is not the answer. And I know I can sing; I'm unavoidably talented. This is just a sign of denial." I said in what I knew to be an annoyingly calm voice.

"Roxas; I'm going now. You're an asshole."

"You're slutty and promiscuous."

"Well I think you're gay; please accept this and find a boyfriend. Making up excuses about girls actually being vampires doesn't solve anything. Goodnight"

And then she hung up. I laughed softly; stuffing my cell in my back pocket. I had successfully pissed her off and got her to go away. We were constantly having arguments over how I should get a girlfriend; she only ever falsely accused me of being gay when she was really irritated by my evasion of the subject. I had talked to her before (at about three o'clock in the morning after one of her more-memorable –or should I say less?- wild house parties) about how it could be potentially offensive to gay people to accuse me as such as though it were a bad thing. She replied that if her gay friends aggravated her; she called them straight. I asked her about bi; she said she called them asexual. Asexual? Bi. As I remembered what she had said about her knowledge of Paine's mouth-work; I couldn't help but regret not throwing her own twisted comeback in her face.

I was about to comment on this to Sora; when I realised he was no longer there. 'Where the hell is he now?' I thought; seeing no sign of him.

"Sora? Hello?" I called; feeling slightly worried. Sora had a certain eccentricity; a knack for doing bizarre or extreme things that some mistook for stupidity. He wasn't senseless though; he just didn't care about anything enough to have rational concern for his own well being. I was apprehensive. I knew he needed something; some source of light or someone to guide him back to reality: but I didn't know what to do. Neither did anyone else. So his sudden disappearance invoked anxiety. However, within seconds the spiky haired expert in the illogical was hurtling past me in a frenetic blur.

"SORA! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?" I yelled after him as he sprinted straight past his house.

Next thing I knew; I was dashing after him. He wasn't quite at his soberest, though he was getting there, and he was usually in a chaotic frame of mind: I knew from experience that this combination was nine point five times out of ten not a good idea. Funny; but not good.

As I rounded the corner I was just beginning to wonder how long I'd be running when I saw Sora was just standing there looking freaked out and confused. I stopped just in time to prevent myself from crashing into him.

"Jesus Sora! WHAT was _that_ for?" I asked, hands on my knees as I got my breathing under control.

"Roxas, did you just…did- never mind, I must be losing it! That's the second time in two days I've seen her." Sora said; at first questioning and then mumbling in a way that made it seem as though he was really searching for a sign that something incomprehensible to me still existed in him. His statement, however, had me perplexed... but also worried. I scanned the street for any signs of a "her"; hoping (though knowing it was not the case) that he was talking about someone from Selphie's. When I saw no one along the stretch of path or road; the unease set in. Sometimes I really honestly questioned the state of Sora's mind. I took a side glance at the boy in question; a little desperate to see a look that would tell me he was messing with me. But I saw nothing there but utter bewilderment.

"Who're you talking about? I don't see anybody!" still vainly grasping for a sane explanation. None such clarification came.

"Exactly; I'm losing it!"He sounded as though he'd been expecting this; but was still a bit freaked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked straight out; seeking a similarly simple answer.

"Okay, yesterday I was in the alcove…you know mulling everything over about Olette and Riku… and I had this weird feeling…"

He'd said her name... He said the name each of us avoided. The name he hadn't spoken for months... I had to admit; it was hard to hear. I knew I'd winced in reflex of its sound... and I felt guilty. I always felt guilty. But this guilt caused me physical pain. I wondered if she was who he'd been talking about. Whether she was "her". With Sora; anything was possible.

"What kind of weird feeling?" I pressed on; making my voice sound heavily suggestive in a bid to lighten the mood of the situation; though I doubted it was something I could do... where was Selphie when you needed her? Actually; I really didn't want to know. And she probabley wouldn't be much help on this topic anyways...

"Not that kind of feeling you sick weirdo. Is that _all_ you think about?" He played along... but I knew that it was only a temporary relief.

"Yes; but go on…explain, before I get any more ideas." I smirked, speaking before considering the possibility that I didn't want to hear his reasoning...

"It felt like…like Kairi was there. I- I don't know how to explain it. It was like gut-instinct or something but… I dunno. Then I looked around, and I saw her in the shadows. She was right there in the darkness and I reached out and then she was gone. I ran after her but there was no one there on the beach I knew, so I ran up to the plaza but I couldn't see her anywhere. I was _so_ sure she was there… And then when you were on the phone I got the feeling again, so I looked around and I thought I saw her again; standing under the tree. I thought she was there; I was _looking_ at her and then….then she wasn't. So I ran. I was sooo sure she was running just a second or two ahead of me but now…. I don't know… I must finally be cracking."

It all came out in a manically panicked sort of way... Kairi? I knew she had been a friend of his once upon a time. He'd found her washed up on a beach when he was seven; she had no memory of who she was or how she'd gotten there. An Amnesiac. They'd apparently been inseparable after that; she'd even lived in his house for a short span of time. Back when Riku and Sora were best friends she'd been the third to their trio. But when forced to leave by child welfare officials when the boarding school she had stayed in for two and a half years closed down; they lost contact. Half a year later Sora received a phone call from her... but apparently she'd hung up on him. Sora'd been pretty beat up after she'd left... he'd allegedly had a minor relapse of similar behaviour after the phone incident. I knew he still found it hard; even so long afterwards... he'd drop her name into conversations without even realising he'd done so. I didn't think that something so far back would be the last straw... but apparently it was.

"You've been hallucinating about some-girl -" it was too much; this was ridiculous. Even for him.

"My best friend." Sora interrupted me "Or my old best friend… I don't know anymore …"

"Sora, she hasn't talked to you in like…four and a half years. I mean, that's before Olette got here. That's before I arrived. That is before the whole damn-" I looked for the right word for a second, agitated "_War_ even _happened_!!! I mean, if you keep thinking of Kairi as your best friend, you're just keeping yourself even _further_ back in the past. You were _friends_ with_ Riku_ back then!"

I spat the last part. It was all so ludicrous and if Riku was any indication of his former choice of friends; I wasn't so sure that I ever wanted to know her. The destruction Riku had caused was too great... who knew what this once-sweet little girl could provoke...

"Roxas; I know the difference between the past and the future. No, I'm not…_over_ what happened, but I'm not obsessed with it…well not that much… and anyway Kairi had nothing to do with any of it. I think it might just be delayed grief or something…." He offered dejectedly.

But I knew the truth; none of us understood the difference between the past and the future or even the present anymore. Everything was a vague sequence of events... nothing seemed linked; but then everything seemed to blend... I couldn't explain it. Nothing could. And we were obsessed with it; Sora, like me (though I tried to hide it), was one of members of our little group who was lost in it all... it had cut him deep. And at first I was so bitterly pleased of this. I wished it on him. I felt guilty about it, even at the time, because I knew it was all too messed up and the only person to blame for it was Riku and maybe Olette (though I never voiced my acidic thoughts on her); but both of them were untouchable. So I dumped it all on Sora instead. But after a while I began to realise the error of my ways. I began to see that I just couldn't keep it up. He was as broken as the rest of us... and I think he really immersed himself in his regret. But I can barely remember. Times were ruff all over. And I knew it wasn't delayed grief either; it was constant... and maybe, to him, Kairi was a symbolism of happier times, of a youth and innocence we all lost too young.

I mulled it all over; unsure of what to say... unsure of the world. I finally managed to compel speech.

"Okay, whatever… Let's go back to your's and, I dunno, do _something_ else."

Anything but think. Anything but feel. Anything but stand there in the shadows; are hearts lost to the darkness as they would always be... or at least that's what I thought.

I thought I knew about the tricks of the world and the secrets behind phenomenon of its tricks. I thought I'd lived the main events of my life already; I thought they were tainted and torn. Little did I know they'd only begin sometime that night; and they'd be nothing I ever expected. Nothing I ever could have. She was something that could never have been predicted...


End file.
